That's the Way
by Angel Grace
Summary: Liason fic. Originally written the last time Jason was still on the show. In my world, he would never have left. If chapters 2-6 do not show up here, try accessing them at the beta site. (Link is on main page.)
1. That's the Way It Is

That's the Way It Is 

"Everybody wants an easy ride 

On the merry-go-round that we call life 

Take your drive on cruise control 

Then you wait to find out that it's a winding road" 

--"That's the Way", performed by JoDee Messina 

Written by Annie Roboff/Holly Lamar 

Elizabeth Webber couldn't sleep. Beside her, Lucky's breathing was deep and even, indicating that he had long since passed from the world of wakefulness. They had managed to work past their disagreement over Jason a few days earlier. In truth, however, nothing had been resolved. Elizabeth had told Lucky what he wanted to hear: she loved him, and she never wanted to hurt him, and she was sorry. Lucky had even admitted that he shouldn't have demanded she leave Jake's with him. They had fallen asleep in each other's arms, both of them desperately 

wanting to believe that everything was going to be just fine. 

Deep down, though, Elizabeth knew that things were far from all right. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the way Jason had looked the last time they spoke. 

She had told him that for the sake of her relationship with Lucky, he needed to stay away. Jason, in a rare display of honest emotion, hadn't taken the pronouncement without protest. He had asked her some questions, tough questions, that had answers she wasn't yet ready to deal with. But finally, he had accepted her decision, and given her one final ride home. They had been saying good-bye when Emily came out of Kelly's. Another moment, and Elizabeth wasn't sure she would have been able to go through with it. As it was, she had merely said good-bye and retreated to Lucky's room. 

But his eyes...something had shadowed their blue depths, just for a moment, and Elizabeth had recognized it as pain. 

She had seen him hurt before, when he recovered from a gunshot wound in her studio, and when he spoke of Sonny and Carly's betrayal. What Elizabeth wasn't used to, though, was being the one to cause him pain. 

She rolled over in bed, trying to find a more comfortable spot, and Lucky stirred slightly. 

Lucky. He had been so hurt by what she had done. It seemed like all she did lately was hurt people. She had lied to him, was still lying to him. But while she understood his anger over her lies, what she couldn't figure out was why he refused to accept that her relationship with Jason was nothing more than friendship. All Jason had ever done was try to help her. He allowed her to mourn Lucky's "death" in her own way, had listened to her and advised her without complaint or judgment. There had never been any romance there. 

So why, as she lay there with Lucky's arm draped over her, could she not forget the feel of Jason's arms as they leaned over the pool table? As the last remnants of Lucky's cologne lingered in the air, why could she still smell leather and soap and shampoo, the distinct scent of Jason that enveloped her whenever they went for a ride on his motorcycle? Why did she want to do everything in her power to make the pain in his eyes go away? 

Uncomfortable with her train of thought, Elizabeth slipped from the bed. Hastily, she scribbled Lucky a note. 

"Couldn't sleep, so I went to the studio to paint. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you. Love, Liz" 

* * * 

A few miles away, in his rented room above Jake's, Jason Morgan was suffering from a similar bout with insomnia. Ever since he had given his word to Elizabeth that he would stay away from her, she had been all he could think about. 

This wasn't the way it was supposed to work. He was Jason Morgan. He was...stoic. At one time or another, he had walked away from everything that mattered to him. He was a loner. So why were his dreams being haunted by Lucky Spencer's girlfriend? 

He had known, in his heart, that she hadn't wanted to walk away from him that last night. Their friendship meant something to her, of that much he was certain. But it didn't mean so much that she would risk jeopardizing her future with Lucky. 

It shouldn't mean that much. He knew that. Lucky was the love of her life. More than one person, including Elizabeth herself, had told him that. He, Jason, was nothing more than a friend. A friend that caused trouble, at that. He had almost gotten her killed once. By going to her studio this last time, he had put her in jeopardy once again. If Sorel had somehow gotten word that he was back in town, and that Elizabeth was harboring him...he didn't even like to think about what could have happened. 

So why had he been willing to take that risk? Sure, the window in her studio had a good view of the warehouse, but there were other windows in other rooms. Yes, he knew he could trust Elizabeth, but she wasn't the only one. No, if he told the complete truth, he had turned to Elizabeth because he wanted to see her. 

And now he had lost her to Lucky completely. He no longer even had her friendship as consolation. If he had come back into town like a normal person, instead of asking her to lie to everyone, including the man she loved, maybe he wouldn't have lost her. Maybe Lucky wouldn't have freaked out, and he would have been able to have a conversation with her at Kelly's, or watch her paint, or take her for a ride on his bike. 

But it was too late now. She was out of his life. Maybe it was time to leave Port Charles for good--no matter what Emily wanted. 

Grabbing his jacket, he left the room and headed for the docks. 

* * * 

So far, Elizabeth hadn't gotten any painting done. She sat in the window of the studio, looking at her painting of the wind in the moonlight. The room around her was dark, which matched her mood. 

This is stupid, she thought. I came here to paint, not to think about Jason. If I don't get something done, it will just be another lie that I've told Lucky. 

Resolutely, she set the painting down, strode across the room, and flipped the light switch. 

* * * 

Down on the docks, Jason was staring up at her darkened window. He knew he shouldn't be there. It wasn't healthy, and with his luck Taggert would show up and have him arrested for loitering. 

Just as he turned to leave, he was startled to see the light go on in the studio. It was nearly two o'clock on a Tuesday morning. Elizabeth wouldn't be there unless something was wrong. Forgetting his resolve to stay away from her, Jason headed for the studio. 

* * * 

Sighing, Elizabeth flipped through her sketchbook. She had no idea what to paint. Turning the next page, her eyes fell on the drawing of Jason playing pool that awful day at Jake's. 

You're not supposed to be thinking about Jason, she reminded herself. Still, the sketch was good, capturing the grace of Jason's movements. She could do the painting for her art class, and then give the finished product to Emily. Besides, it wasn't as though she had time to do any other "object-in-motion" drawings after the fiasco with Lucky. 

Pulling a smock on over her clothes, she was startled by the knock on her door. Brow furrowing, she paused a moment before heading to open it. 

* * * 

Outside the door, Jason was waging a small war with himself. Walk away; just walk away. She hasn't answered the door yet. She's probably in there with Lucky. Don't cause more trouble for her. 

He couldn't tear himself away, though. Just make sure that she's okay. Then you can leave. 

He heard the click of the lock, and slowly the door opened. There she was, in a paint-spattered smock, her eyes wide with surprise. 

"Can I come in?" 

Wordlessly, she opened the door wider, and he stepped inside. 

* * * 

Shutting the door behind him, she was still stunned that he was there. Before she had the chance to, he spoke. 

"Look, I know I shouldn't be here, and I won't stay long. I was out for a walk, and I saw your light go on, and I wanted to make sure you were okay." 

She glanced at her watch and smiled. "You were out walking at two in the morning?" 

He shrugged. "I couldn't sleep. Why are you here?" 

"I couldn't sleep, either. Great minds, huh?" 

"Yeah. So is everything okay?" 

Her eyes clouded. "I guess. Lucky has been trying really hard to make me happy." 

"So are you? Happy, I mean." 

"I love him, Jason. I really do, and I know he loves me too. Most of the time, I am happy. After all, isn't this what I always wanted? But other times, like tonight, I'm miserable. I feel terrible because I'm still lying to 

Lucky about what really happened. Even though he expects me to be honest with him, I can't tell him the truth. He's totally irrational when it comes to you. I know I'd lose him if he found out you stayed here. But on the other hand, I'll lose him if I keep lying, because eventually he will find out. I don't want to hurt him, Jason." 

"I know you don't. I should go. Just pretend I was never here. I don't want to cause any more problems for you." 

He had already started to turn the knob when he heard her voice behind him. "Please don't go, Jason." 

His hand stilled, and slowly he turned to face her. "Elizabeth..." 

She stepped closer, and his heart started to pound. This was getting far too dangerous. 

"That's the other reason I couldn't sleep, Jason. I miss you. I don't want to lose you." 

The words came out of his mouth before his brain had a chance to stop them. "I miss you, too." Realizing what he had said, he began fumbling for the doorknob. It was as though his cool, calm, collected Jason Morgan exterior had crumbled at his feet. "You love Lucky, Elizabeth. You've told me that a hundred times. I'm just a friend that causes trouble. You don't need me in your life. Tell him the truth. Make him understand that I'm not important. It's the only way you'll be happy." 

And then he was gone. 

Tears filled Elizabeth's eyes, and she stumbled over to the couch. What had just happened here? 

* * * 

In the hallway, Jason leaned up against the wall, alternately hoping that Elizabeth would follow him and praying that she wouldn't. What had he just done? 

"I had my dreams in view 

When the money ran out and the engine blew 

Hung my tears out to dry 

Then my dreams fell out of that clear blue sky" 

--"That's the Way", performed by JoDee Messina 

Written by Annie Roboff/Holly Lamar 


	2. You Gotta Roll with the Punches

You Gotta Roll with the Punches 

"And I, I was walkin' the clouds 

Feelin' so safe and sound 

Then somethin' else knocks me down" 

--"That's the Way" performed by JoDee Messina 

Written by Annie Roboff/Holly Lamar 

Sunlight streaming in through the studio window woke Elizabeth up. Disoriented, it took her a moment to remember why she wasn't in Lucky's bed at Kelly's. After a moment, the events of the previous night came flooding back to her... Jason had been there, and he told her to tell Lucky the truth about what had happened. It had been more than that, though. Elizabeth felt that Jason had been trying to tell her something that he didn't come right out and say. 

Groaning, she sat up and tried to massage the kink out of her neck. The couch was anything but comfortable, and she didn't know how Jason has survived sleeping on it all those nights he was hiding out. 

As she stood up, there was a knock on the door, and she rushed to open it. Please let it be Jason, she thought. Something went horribly wrong last night, and I need to make it right. 

Opening the door, she tried to mask her disappointment that it was Lucky, not Jason, standing in the hallway. 

"Hi!" she said with false cheer. "I didn't expect to see you here." 

"Do you want me to leave?" 

"Of course not," she said, taking his hand and pulling him into the studio. "It's just a nice surprise, that's all." 

He looped his arms around her waist and drew her close for a kiss. "Did you get a lot of painting done last night?" 

She grimaced. "Actually, no. I just couldn't seem to find the inspiration I needed." 

His eyes fell on her sketchbook, which still lay open to the drawing of Jason, and angrily he released her and reached for the book. "Gee, I would have thought this would provide all the inspiration you need." 

"Lucky..." 

"What's going on, Elizabeth? What were you doing, sitting here gazing at his picture?" 

"Lucky, of course not! I was flipping through my sketchbook trying to decide what to paint, and that's the last drawing I did. It's actually pretty good, so I thought maybe I could do a painting of it for my class." 

"Oh, I bet you'd just love to have a painting of Jason to hang on the wall. Even better, you could invite him here to model for you." 

"Actually, I was going to give the painting to Emily when I was done, since he is her brother. And you know I wouldn't ask him to model for me. I know that would bother you, even though it shouldn't." 

"And why shouldn't it? Jason is doing everything he can to take you away from me. I'm sure he'd love the opportunity to get up close and personal with you here in the studio." 

"Jason has never been anything but supportive of my relationship with you. And besides, no matter what Jason may or may not want, it's not his decision. If he were attracted to me, which I highly doubt that he is, that doesn't automatically mean I will be attracted to him. And if I were attracted to him, that doesn't mean that I would throw away my relationship with you. I chose you, Lucky. Why can't you trust me enough to believe that nothing will happen with Jason?" 

"It's not you that I don't trust, Elizabeth." 

"I wish I could believe that." 

"I'm not the one who lied, remember?" 

By this point, Elizabeth was about ready to rip her hair out. She was so sick of arguing in circles with Lucky about Jason. "Lucky, I think it's time that we sat down and talked about exactly what has happened between Jason and I. I want you to finally let me tell the story, without interruptions or accusations. Do you think you can do that?" 

Grudgingly, he replied, "I guess." 

They moved over to the couch and sat down. "Look, I'm sure that there are going to be parts of this story that you don't like. But that's because you're looking at it as a jealous boyfriend. Please try to remember that Jason and I have never been anything more than friends." 

They sat there for a long time, Elizabeth talking and Lucky listening. She felt as though it was the first time they had really communicated in quite a while. She told him about Jason comforting her after the fire, rescuing her from a bad situation at Jake's, and listening to her talk about Lucky for hours on end. She explained about Sonny and Carly, and Jason being shot, and nursing him back to health in the studio. She spoke of Nikolas' suspicions, and his belief that they were sleeping together, which of course wasn't true. She even told him how Jason counseled her when Lucky was still brainwashed, and she couldn't stop loving him in spite of it. 

"Don't you see, Lucky? It was always you. Even when I thought you were dead, and after you came back, but said you didn't love me, I never stopped loving you. Jason was never more than a shoulder to cry on, a friend to listen to me rant and rave about you. That's all it ever was." 

Lucky's face had softened somewhat during the story, but he wasn't quite ready to lose all his fears. "And now?" 

"Now...I still love you, not Jason. But Lucky, I have lied to you, and I need to tell you everything before it tears us apart." 

"But I thought you already told me what happened." 

She shook her head. "Not all of it. You were so angry when I told you that I knew Jason was here, I thought I'd lose you if I told you everything." 

"I guess that depends on what 'everything' is." 

Taking a deep breath, Elizabeth began to speak again. "Lucky, I didn't just know that Jason was in town because I ran into him. He came here, to the studio, and asked for my help." 

"He what?" 

"Please, let me finish. He needed a place to stay, and no one else could know he was here. He wouldn't tell me why. I wasn't comfortable with it, especially since it meant lying to you. But I didn't want to turn my back on a friend. He offered to leave so many times, Lucky. He didn't want to cause me any trouble. But I wouldn't let him leave. I wanted to help him, just like I would want to help Emily or Nikolas or you. That day when you surprised me here, Jason was here. I was bringing him lunch, since he couldn't risk being seen by going to get food." 

"Why didn't you tell me the whole truth the first time?" 

"Because, Lucky, you were so angry when you found out I knew he was here. I was scared." 

"So is there anything else I should know?" 

"That day at Jake's, I went to find him so that I could tell him I couldn't spend time with him anymore. I didn't want to just stop speaking to him without any explanation. We talked for a little while, and I told him how much I hated lying to you. I felt awful, because even then you thought I was at my studio sketching. He asked me what I needed to draw, and I said an object in motion. He wanted to hear my ideas, so I told him, and then I asked if I could sketch him playing pool instead. I took a break a little while later, and he asked me if I wanted to play, but I know nothing about pool. He taught me how to hold the cue and line up a shot. And that's when you walked in. That's all it was, really." 

"That's all, huh? So it just shouldn't bother me that another man had his arms around the woman that I love?" 

"Lucky, please. It was just a friendly game of pool. We were having fun, laughing. That's what we do. We don't give each other long, smoldering glances, we don't kiss, and we don't do anything romantic. We are just 

friends." 

"So is that everything?" 

"Not quite. After you left that day, all I did was talk about you. And he took me for a ride on his motorcycle. And when it was over, I asked him to stay away from me." 

"And has he?" 

"Mostly. He was...he was here last night." 

"What, did you have some midnight rendezvous? Is that why you needed to 'paint' in the middle of the night?" 

Elizabeth was starting to get angry now. How many times was she going to have to explain the same things? "No, we did not have a 'midnight rendezvous.' I came here to paint, and apparently Jason went for a walk. When he saw the light on so late, he wanted to make sure that everything was okay." 

"How noble of him." 

"He was worried about me, Lucky. Friends do that. He knows how upset I've been over fighting with you lately. He feels responsible, I think." 

"He is responsible." 

"No, he's not. I am. My choices are my own. No one forces me to do things. He wanted to leave as soon as he got here, and I didn't want him to go. I miss my friend, and I told him that. He left right after that, but before he did, he told me to tell you the truth, that I needed to make you understand that he isn't important. All he wants is for me--for us--to be happy." 

"Is that all now?" 

"Yes. That's everything. Now do you see how crazy you are to worry about Jason?" 

"No, I don't. I trust you, Elizabeth, but I still don't trust Jason. You may think he's just being a good friend, but I believe he wants more. Maybe he sees that he can't have that now, and so he's trying to be supportive. He probably thinks that if he keeps watch over you, lets you know that he's there for you, eventually something will go wrong between you and I, and you'll turn to him." 

"First of all, do you really believe Jason is that devious? And second, what do you mean 'eventually something will go wrong between you and I'?" 

"News flash, Elizabeth. Jason Morgan is a mobster. He is arrested on a routine basis. He kills people. He is not some saintly protector incapable of doing anyone harm. So forgive me if I believe that he has the capacity to be devious. People like Sonny and Jason don't go around asking politely for what they want. They just take it." 

"Lucky, Jason can't just 'take me' away from you. I love you. He knows that." 

"So do I. But we've proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that we don't always agree. What happens if we have an argument someday, and he's 'comforting' you, or 'counseling' you about our relationship, and he decides the best solution is for you to be with him? You seem to take his advice pretty seriously." 

Elizabeth was practically in tears. "I can't believe that you think I would do something like that, that I would betray you." 

"It's not like it would be the first time you betrayed my trust for Jason." 

"I suppose that's true. But I wish you could see that I was just trying to help a friend." 

"I do see that. I just don't know that Jason is quite as clear on that point." 

"He is, Lucky. Trust me." 

"I wish it were that simple. I think I need some time alone to think, Elizabeth." 

"Yeah, maybe that would be the best thing for both of us right now. I'll see you back at Kelly's." 

"Alright." 

When he was gone, Elizabeth wandered over to the window. She had left her jacket lying there the night before, and as she pondering her current life situation, she absently reached into the coat pocket and pulled out the red glass that Jason had given her. She had brought it back to the studio in hopes of duplicating the color, and also to avoid any more questions about it from Lucky. The cool, smooth surface was soothing to the touch, and as she cradled it in her palm, Elizabeth realized that more than anything, she wanted to talk to Jason. He would understand where she was coming from, instead of making her feel naïve and stupid. But Lucky would only see that as another betrayal. 

What was wrong with her? Why, whenever something was bothering her, was her first instinct to go to Jason? It didn't used to be that way. Lucky was her confidant, her strong shoulder, the person who made her believe in herself again. But maybe that wasn't entirely true either. Lucky had made her believe in who she was when she was with him, and in their perfect, pre-kidnapping world, he would never leave. It was Jason who had shown her that she could survive without Lucky, that she was strong enough on her own. He had never promised to always be there, and had left more than once. She had missed him, of course, but she had been just fine. Could it be that it was Jason who taught her strength, where Lucky had taught her dependence? Maybe it was just that they could never go back to being the people they were before the fire. They would have changed anyway, but maybe if he had never been gone, they could have changed together. The people they were had been perfect for each other. She wasn't sure if that was true anymore. Once upon a time they had been everything to one another, and she had been happy with that. Her horizons had expanded to include other people and other interests, while his never really had. 

Clutching the red glass tightly, Elizabeth finally admitted that Lucky's fears were founded on a grain of truth. She was attracted to Jason, and after last night, she could no longer be sure how he felt. But he wasn't Lucky. She had chosen Lucky. He was what she had always wanted, after all, and it had been a long, hard fight to be together. But now...now she wasn't sure what she wanted. 

So where did that leave them? 

"Well, Oh, that's the way it is 

You gotta roll with the punches 

That's the way it goes 

You gotta bend when the wind blows 

You live you learn You crash and burn It's hit or miss And that's the way it is" 

--"That's the Way" performed by JoDee Messina 

Written by Annie Roboff/Holly Lamar 


	3. That's the Way It Goes

That's the Way It Goes 

"One fine day you wake up Completely, hopelessly fallen in love He's just what you're lookin' for The only problem is, that the man's not sure" 

--"That's the Way" performed by JoDee Messina 

Written by Annie Roboff/Holly Lamar 

Early March in Port Charles wasn't exactly hiking weather, but the cold made Jason feel a little bit more alive. He hadn't meant to come here, but when he got on his bike and began to drive, this was where the road had taken him. Maybe it was because he had wanted to take Elizabeth here. Maybe it was because it was a good place to think. 

He'd been doing a lot of that lately. 

Emily knew. She had seen it in his eyes somehow. He hadn't meant for it to happen, it just had. 

He loved Elizabeth. In a way that he hadn't loved anyone in a very long time. Too bad he couldn't tell her that, at least not without making things worse for everyone involved. 

He picked his way slowly through the tall, dead grasses. Here it was--the statue of the young girl that he had told Elizabeth about. She wasn't smiling. It was funny how he had never thought to look at that before, while it was one of the first things that Elizabeth had asked about. She made him...see things differently. 

He wondered what she had decided to do, whether she was planning on telling Lucky the truth or not. He still couldn't be sure if that was a good idea or not, but it was what he believed in. Some people might find that ironic, considering the line of work that he was in, but he didn't hold with betraying friends. 

That was why he couldn't tell her how he felt. He respected the relationship that she had with Lucky, respected all that they had gone through to achieve that relationship. He would never do anything to deliberately jeopardize that, which was why it was rather ironic that Lucky believed him to be doing exactly that. 

He heard footsteps in the grass behind him, and turned quickly, natural instincts kicking in. His pulse began to speed up when he saw who was approaching him. 

"Elizabeth..." 

She gave him a tired half-smile. 

"What's wrong?" 

Her laugh was bitter. "Have you ever noticed that you ask me that question nearly every time we're together?" 

"I guess I never really thought about it before. It just seemed like the right thing to say." 

"It was, as usual. To answer your question, I took your advice. I told Lucky the truth--the whole truth this time. I explained our friendship to him, how we first got to be close, the things we've done together. I tried to make him see that we've never been anything more than friends." 

"Good friends." 

Her smile was genuine this time. "Very good friends. But still just friends." 

"And did he believe you?" 

"Yes, I think so. Specifically, he believed me. He wasn't quite so willing to accept that your intentions were pure." 

"Does it really matter what my intentions were? All that matters is how you respond, right? I can want what I want, and you can want what you want, but it doesn't matter if we don't actually do anything." 

"Jason...what are your intentions?" 

He hadn't expected her to lay that question on the table. "I want what I've always wanted...for you to be happy." 

She had been gradually moving closer as they spoke, and now she reached out to lay her hand on his arm. "You've never told me--what would make you happy?" 

He didn't speak, just looked at her. She saw the answer in his eyes, and turned away. 

Laughing nervously, she said, "You know, I didn't expect to find you up here. But maybe, deep down, I wanted to find you." 

He stepped closer to her, still facing her back, only inches between them now. "What do you mean?" 

"After Lucky and I had our talk today, I was pretty upset. I mean, even though he says he believes me, I still feel like I've been talking in circles for so long. I'm tired of having to justify my actions. I shouldn't have to justify my friendships to him." 

"No, you shouldn't." 

"I started to think about how things used to be between Lucky and me, how wonderful it all was. We made promises to each other, promises that I have always had every intention of keeping. But..." 

"But what?" The inches between them had shrunk down to almost nothing. 

"No one counted on Lucky disappearing for a year, and certainly not believing him to be dead when he really wasn't. I'm not the same person I was before the fire, and neither is Lucky. In a way, it's almost as if his life was put on pause the year that he was gone, while the rest of us went on living. I know that everyone changes as they get older, but I'm not sure that the changes in us make us as...perfect for each other as we once were." 

"Elizabeth, what are you trying to say?" 

She turned around to face him, and gazed up into his eyes. "I don't know, Jason. I don't know what I want. I don't know who I am anymore when I'm with Lucky. I don't like what I've been doing to him. But I also don't like what I've been doing to you." 

"So what are you going to do?" 

She took a deep breath. "Right now, I am going to turn around and walk back down that road, before I do something that I know we both want but would certainly regret." 

"Can I at least give you a ride?" 

Elizabeth shook her head. "I made it up here, I can make it back down." 

As she turned to go, he caught her sleeve. "At least let me say good-bye the way I wanted to the other night outside Kelly's." 

Uncertain, she allowed herself to be pulled into a gentle embrace. He held her close for a moment, then kissed the top of her head and released her. 

Before she could turn away again, he said, "And just so you know, I could never regret a single thing I did with you." 

Jason waited until she had disappeared from view before walking back to his motorcycle and riding off in the opposite direction of town. 

* * * 

It was quite a bit later when Elizabeth finally arrived back at Kelly's. In spite of the cold, she had walked slowly, attempting to make sense of everything that had transpired that day. Jason had all but admitted that he wanted more than friendship from their relationship, and she had practically told him that she felt the same way. And now, more confused than ever, she would have to face Lucky. 

Wearily, she trudged up the stairs to her room. When she pushed open the door, her eyes widened in shock. Every available surface had been filled with vases of flowers. The scent of roses, orchids, gardenias, and countless other flowers nearly overwhelmed her. Next to her bed was Lucky, down on one knee, holding out a small velvet box. 

"Lucky, what is all this?" she gasped. 

He held out his free hand to her, and Elizabeth stepped forward to take it. "I finally decided what I wanted to do. Elizabeth, will you marry me?" 

He released her hand to open the box, and an emerald-cut diamond winked back at her. A thousand images flashed through her head at that moment--her first date with Lucky, the night of the fire, the day he finally came home, the times he had told her she should be with Nikolas, the night he rescued her at the rave, the day he told her he still loved her, the trip to New York, the first night they made love, and Valentine's Day, to name a few. But flashing periodically through the rest was the image of how Jason had looked at her that day, how he made her feel when she was with him, and what it felt like to ride with the wind. 

She knew, then, what it was that she had been feeling around Lucky lately. She felt trapped. It suddenly occurred to her that she no longer knew what she was doing or why she was doing it. On the one hand there was Lucky, who was ready to offer her the world--provided that she lived in it according to his rules. She had dreamed of this moment, planned out exactly how she wanted it to happen, and what she would say when it did. And now it had, but her first instinct was to run screaming in the other direction. 

A direction that led directly back to Jason. He hadn't offered her anything, hadn't made her any promises, and hadn't proclaimed his undying love. She had no idea if he even could love her, or, for that matter, if she could love him. 

She had loved Lucky for so long now. But more and more she was beginning to realize that the love she felt was based on the way things used to be, not the way they were now. The old Lucky would never have decreed who she could or could not be friends with, and the old Elizabeth would never have lied to him. Then again, she wouldn't have felt compelled to lie to him, because the old Lucky would have trusted her judgment and believed in the strength of their relationship, in spite of any outside obstacles. 

That wasn't the way things worked anymore. There was too much suspicion and deception and mistrust and pain. She knew love wasn't always easy, but she didn't think that it was supposed to feel like this. 

Elizabeth thought back to the night of her last ride on Jason's motorcycle. He had asked her what the word was for doing something you didn't want to, for saying something you didn't feel. She had told him that it was love. Now, she wasn't so sure. 

Love might mean making sacrifices, but she didn't think those sacrifices should include who you were or what you believed in. Maybe Lucky had been justified in resenting her friendship with Jason, perhaps even in asking her to end it. But if she allowed him to make one decision like that for her, how many more would he think he could make for her in the future? 

She realized then that she had never been apart from Lucky by choice. First he had been taken from her, and then he had rejected her. She had spent so much of that time trying to find a way to get him back. It had never dawned on her that maybe there weren't supposed to be together. That had always been a foregone conclusion in her mind. 

"Elizabeth? Elizabeth, are you listening to me?" 

She snapped back to reality when Lucky's voice penetrated her consciousness, and she realized that she had not yet responded to his proposal. 

"Elizabeth, what's wrong?" 

"I can't...I can't do this." 

His face fell. "You can't marry me? I know it's really sudden, but I always assumed that we would someday, and I thought..." 

"No, I can't marry you, and I can't be with you right now." 

There was anger in his eyes now, and he stood up. "What? Is this about Jason? What kind of a hold does he have on you, Elizabeth? Are you really willing to break up because of him?" 

The tears were coming, and she fought to hold them back. "No, this isn't about Jason. At least not all of it. Lucky, take a good hard look at us. Do you really like the way that things have been between us lately? And don't try to tell me that it's all because of Jason. There are problems in our relationship, 

problems that I don't know how to fix, and we can't blame them on any one thing, or any one person." 

"How is this not Jason's fault? Nothing was wrong before he came back to town!" 

"That's not true, Lucky. We just never acknowledged that anything was wrong." 

"What are you talking about? I love you, Elizabeth." 

"And I love you. I always will. But...you're not my entire world, Lucky, and sometimes I don't think that you can handle that idea." 

"I don't think that. I don't." 

"But that's how you make me feel. You're so important to me, you're the most important to me, but you are not the only thing important to me. Sometimes...I just don't feel like I can be myself. Sometimes I'm angry or crabby or hurt, and I don't know how to express those things to you. It's not your fault; please don't think that's what I'm saying. But as much as I love our life, I want my life too. I don't want to be someone's entire world." 

"Maybe you're not." 

"Lucky...you moved into Kelly's, where I live. You are becoming a photographer, because I am becoming a model. You hardly see your mother or Lulu, and when was the last time you spoke to your father? The last time you saw Nikolas you argued. You can't stand the sight of Jason, and you don't like the idea of Emily and Zander together. Who else, exactly, does that leave? Whether you do it consciously or not, I can't handle that kind of pressure." 

"Elizabeth, you're not being fair." 

"Maybe I'm not. But I'm trying to be honest. I'm trying to tell you how I feel. I want to go to my studio and paint for hours on end and not have to worry that you think we're not spending enough time together. I want to go for a ride on the back of Jason's motorcycle and not feel guilty about being with a 

friend. I want...I want to be free." 

"Don't you think you're being just a little bit selfish here?" 

"Yeah, maybe I am. But I guess I've decided that there are some sacrifices that I'm not willing to make. Not even for you." 

"So you're breaking up with me, is that it?" 

"I guess I am. Please don't think that this is easy for me, and please don't think that I don't love you anymore. I'm probably going to walk out that door and realize that this is the biggest mistake I have ever made. But it has to be my mistake to make." 

"Even if it ruins my life?" 

She smiled sadly. "It's not going to ruin your life. It's going to be hard, and it's going to hurt, but it's not the end of the world. You're going to get the chance to discover exactly who you are, on your own." 

"So this is supposed to be some kind of a favor?" 

"No, it's not a favor. It's a horrible, wretched thing to do, but that's life sometimes, as brutal as it seems." 

She turned to go, and Lucky reached out and took her hand. "I'm not giving up on us, you know. I'm not going to make this easy." 

"I didn't expect that you would." 

"You're going to go to him now, aren't you?" 

She nodded. "Yes. And I'm going to tell him how I just did the stupidest thing I've ever done. He's going to have to listen to me talk about you for hours, and watch me cry and sniffle. And then he'll offer to take me for a ride, and it will be so loud and so fast that I won't be able to hear any of my own horrible thoughts. Then he'll bring me home, and I'll cry myself to sleep, and hope that when I wake up tomorrow, this will all have been a bad dream." 

"He loves you." 

She shrugged. "Maybe he does. I don't even know what to think anymore." 

"Be careful, Elizabeth." 

"I will." 

She hugged him quickly, and he whispered, "I love you." Then she walked out the door, and the tears began to stream down her face. 

* * * 

Jason had ridden in circles for a while, and then returned to the ruins of the old house, unwilling to go back into town. The sun had set hours before, and he was beginning to think that dinner might not be such a bad idea. Rising from the stone bench he had been sitting on, he slowly made his way back the road and his motorcycle. 

There was a figure sitting on his bike, and he quickly realized that it was Elizabeth. She watched him walk towards her, and neither of them spoke until he was standing directly in front of her. 

"You came back," he stated quietly. 

She nodded. "And this time I don't have to leave." 

"What happened?" 

"Lucky proposed." 

Jason heart sank. "I see." 

"I broke up with him." 

His eyebrows went up slightly, but all he said was, "Are you okay?" 

"No." 

"So what do you want to do?" 

"Take me for a ride, Jason." 

He slid on to the bike in front of her, and as felt her arms lock around his waist, he allowed himself a small smile. Then he put the bike in gear, and they roared off into the darkness. 

"Another guy'll give you everything 

The only problem is you don't feel a thing 

Well I know from experience 

Nothin's ever gonna make perfect sense" 

--"That's the Way" performed by JoDee Messina 

Written by Annie Roboff/Holly Lamar 


	4. You Gotta Bend When the Wind Blows

You Gotta Bend When the Wind Blows 

"Oh, one day you get what you want 

But it's not what you think 

Then you get what you need" 

--"That's the Way" performed by JoDee Messina 

Written by Annie Roboff/Holly Lamar 

The wind screamed around them, and Elizabeth clung tightly to Jason's waist. The whole thing was so exhilarating, such an absolute rush, that she never had time to be afraid. 

Eventually, they slowed, and when she looked up Elizabeth realized that they were outside her studio. As she slid off the bike, she remarked, "Those never seem to last long enough." 

"You know, they'd last a lot longer if you didn't insist on going so fast." 

She laughed, and then reached up and patted him on the cheek. "Aw, poor baby, being forced to go full speed on his beloved motorcycle." 

Jason laughed as well, an uncommon sound for him, and replied, "Well, it's a tough job, but..." 

"...somebody's got to do it," they finished in unison. 

Jason looked Elizabeth in the eye, and she felt a shiver go down her spine. "Do you want to talk about what happened tonight?" 

"Don't I always?" she asked wryly. 

"Yeah, pretty much." 

As they headed in to the building, he asked, "You mind if I order Chinese or something? I haven't eaten since this morning." 

"Why not?" 

He shrugged. "I just felt like staying away from town, you know?" 

"Yeah, I know. There's just one problem." 

"What's that?" 

"There's no phone in the studio." 

He pulled a cell phone out of his jacket pocket. "The magic of technology." As he began to dial, he asked, "You want anything?" 

"Um, sure, I'll have some sweet-and-sour pork." 

Within minutes, the food was on the way, and they were safely ensconced in the studio, sitting on the couch, facing one another. 

"Are you sure that you want to hear all this?" asked Elizabeth. 

"Have I ever not?" 

"Good point. I don't know why you put up with me sometimes." 

"Because you matter to me, Elizabeth. What you think and feel and have to say matters to me. Don't ever forget that." 

"I don't really see how I possibly could," she whispered. Then she began to speak, telling Jason how she had found Lucky waiting in her room when she returned to Kelly's, engagement ring in hand. She told him how trapped she felt, and how she didn't even know what she was doing with her life anymore. She explained how she had finally told Lucky everything that she was feeling, how she didn't want to be his whole world. 

They paused their conversation briefly to answer the door for the delivery boy, then in between bites, she told Jason how hard it had been to actually end things with Lucky, how she still loved him, but she couldn't be with him right now. And when she was all done, Jason pulled her to him, and just held her while she cried. 

What felt like hours later, Elizabeth straightened up and wiped her eyes, Jason's arms still around her. 

"Do you feel any better now?" 

"Yes, thank you. You always seem to have that effect on me." 

He smiled slightly. "So what are you going to do now?" 

"I'm not sure. It's not going to be easy, with both of us still living at Kelly's. And the hardest part is that I'm not just losing my boyfriend, I'm losing my best friend. I'll miss talking to him and sharing things with him. 

Maybe someday we'll be able to do that again, to get past what has happened, but I know that won't be soon." 

"I'm sorry, Elizabeth." 

"For what?" 

"I didn't mean to cause you any trouble. I know my asking you to lie to Lucky didn't help things." 

"No, but I chose to do that. And I already told you, I would do it all again." 

"Even knowing what would happen?" 

"Even then." 

"Thank you." 

"For what?" 

He kissed the top of her head softly. "For being such a good friend. For being you." 

"You'd do the same for me, so we're even." 

They sat in silence for a few moments, and then Jason spoke. "Do you want me to give you a ride back to Kelly's?" 

"No, I think I'll stay here tonight. I don't want to risk running into Lucky." 

"Okay." As Jason started to get up, Elizabeth stopped him. 

"Please don't go. Stay here with me." 

"Are you sure?" 

She nodded. "When I wake up screaming in the middle of the night, I need someone to be there to tell me it's going to be okay. I think you're the only person I would actually believe." 

They settled back onto the couch, spooned together, Jason's arm around Elizabeth's waist. As she drifted towards sleep, Elizabeth felt an odd sort of peace settle over her, as though she was finally where she belonged. 

Long after she had fallen asleep, Jason lie awake, keeping watch over her through the night. 

* * * 

When she woke up the next morning, Elizabeth felt warm and safe, and more relaxed than she had in a very long time. She turned, and saw that Jason was already awake, his brilliant blue eyes fixed intently on her. 

"Morning," she mumbled. 

He smiled, and she decided she could definitely get used to having his smile be the first thing she saw every day. 

"How did you sleep?" 

"Really well, actually." 

"No nightmares?" 

"None at all." In fact, she hadn't dreamt of Lucky at all. Instead, there had been a handsome prince hidden in the shadows, only his beautiful blue eyes visible. She blushed, knowing that it had been Jason she was dreaming about. 

"Thank you for staying with me last night. I know it couldn't have been very comfortable for you." 

"Anytime. Besides, I've kind of gotten used to this couch." 

Elizabeth swung her legs over the side and began to sit up, and Jason reluctantly released his hold on her. Once the connection was broken, there was an awkward pause. It was Jason who finally broke the silence. 

"So what are you going to do today?" 

"I'm working the afternoon shift at Kelly's. I can only hope that Lucky isn't around too much." 

"Do you want me to stop by later, make sure everything is going okay?" 

She smiled shyly. "I'd like that." 

"Are you sure? I mean, I don't want to upset Lucky." 

Her face fell. "He's going to be upset no matter what. I'm not going to let him keep you away from me anymore." 

Jason took her hand in his, and said softly, "I hope you know how much that means to me." 

Elizabeth didn't reply, but simply leaned into him, taking comfort in his strength and his warmth. 

A few minutes later, she forced herself away from him, knowing that she wasn't really ready to take a step forward yet. "I should get going, or Emily is liable to send out a search party for me." 

"Do you want a ride?" 

She shook her head. "No, I think I need to walk a little, clear my head." 

He nodded. "Okay. I'll see you later, then." He dropped a quick kiss on her forehead, then left. 

Gathering up her jacket and purse, Elizabeth followed a few moments later. As she left the studio, she paused to take a last look around, and marveled at how much had changed in the last twenty-four hours. Shutting the door with a decisive click, she set out to face the world--or at least the customers at Kelly's. 

* * * 

Jason made a brief stop at Jake's, to take a shower and change clothes, then headed over to Sonny's penthouse. 

When Johnny announced him, Carly leapt from her seat on the couch. "Jason! Hi! What are you doing here?" 

"Just stopped by to go over a few things with Sonny. Hi, Michael." 

Michael, deeply engrossed in his toy plane, and as mute as ever, didn't even look up. 

Carly studied Jason for a moment, then declared, "Something happened, didn't it? You look different. You look...happy." 

Jason smiled briefly. "I am happy." 

"Well, good. It's about time. What brought this on?" 

"You're not going to like the answer." 

Carly bristled. "What's that supposed to mean?" 

"It has to do with Elizabeth Webber." 

She scowled. "Little Miss Muffett? She's the reason you're happy?" 

There was a warning tone in Jason's voice. "Carly... Look, she and I have gotten...close, and, well..." 

"I knew you guys were friends, although for the life of me I can't understand why, but have you forgotten that she's practically engaged to Lucky Spencer? You remember him, bratty blond kid, related to me?" 

"Actually, they broke up." 

Carly's eyebrows shot up. "That's news to me. So, what, Lucky finally woke up and realized how annoying she is, and now she's come running to you?" 

"Other way around. Elizabeth broke up with Lucky. He proposed, she said no." He grinned. "And then she came running to me." 

"When exactly did we enter the Twilight Zone, huh? Someone want to tell me that? Little Miss Perfect, Elizabeth Webber, broke up with Little Mister Perfect, to go running after you, Mister Gorgeous Sexy Mobster?" 

"That's one way to put it, I guess." 

"Well, I can't fault her taste, at least." 

"Look, Carly, I know you guys aren't crazy about each other. But if things go the way that I want them to, I'm going to be spending a lot of time with Elizabeth. You're both really important to me. I'm not saying that you need to be her best friend, but for my sake, could you at least try to get along?" 

"This really matters to you, doesn't it?" Carly asked softly. 

Jason nodded. 

She took a long look at him, peered into his eyes and saw his heart. "You love her." It wasn't a question. 

"Yes." 

"Oh, Jason. All I want is for you to be happy. It's really important to me. I owe you for so much of my happiness. I'll do anything I can to see that you have someone in your life like I have Sonny." 

"Thank you." 

"So, I guess this means you'll be staying in town for a while." 

"It looks that way." 

Carly grinned. "Well, I guess that anyone who can keep you from running off to the ends of the earth can't be all bad. I say that, of course, for purely selfish reasons." 

Jason pulled her into a fierce hug. "Same old Carly. I don't know what I'd do without you." 

"Stay sane for more than a week and a half at a time?" 

Laughing, Jason hugged her harder. Just then, Sonny emerged from the kitchen, where he had been busy making Belgian waffles for breakfast. 

"Morning, Jason." 

Jason broke away from Carly and turned to his boss. "Hey, Sonny." 

"What brings you by this morning?" 

"Jason's in love with Elizabeth," Carly broke in. 

"Thank you for the news bulletin. Now what's this all about?" 

"Long story," Jason replied. 

"I make you breakfast, you can tell me all about it." 

"Deal. As long as Carly doesn't get to help with the cooking." 

They all laughed, and she swatted Jason playfully. Then she went and scooped up Michael. As a strange extended family, they headed for the kitchen. 

* * * 

Back at Kelly's, Elizabeth had also showered and changed, and then headed down to the restaurant, where Emily was working. 

Taking a seat at the counter, Elizabeth greeted her friend. "Hey, Em." 

"Elizabeth. Hi. Um, how are you?" 

"I guess Lucky talked to you last night." 

Emily nodded. "Yeah. He's really upset, Elizabeth. Are you sure that you did the right thing?" 

"Yes. Believe me, it wasn't an easy decision to make. But things just weren't right between us anymore." 

Emily exhaled loudly. "This totally sucks. It's really hard to be supportive of your two best friends when they want the exact opposite things." 

"I know. I'm sorry that we put you in the middle of this. I don't want you to feel like you have to choose between us." 

"Thanks. I don't think that I could, anyway. Did you...did you see Jason?" 

"Yes. We went for a ride, and talked for a really long time at my studio. Then we went to sleep." 

Emily's eyes grew wide. "He stayed there with you?" 

"Yeah. I just didn't want to be by myself, you know?" 

"Did anything, you know, happen?" 

"Emily! I just broke up with Lucky. I don't think I'm ready for anything to happen." 

"But you do want it to eventually?" 

"I don't know. I think I might. It's all so confusing. I'm not used to having feelings like this for anyone but Lucky." 

"Believe me, I know how hard it can be. I mean, I'm dating a guy that once kidnapped me! But it's worth all the trouble we've gone through." 

"I'm glad that you're happy, Em, even if Zander does take some getting used to." 

"Did someone mention my name?" 

"Zander! I didn't think you were going to be able to stop by this morning!" 

Zander gave his girlfriend a quick hug, then said, "Alexis wanted to go over my testimony yet again, but she got an emergency call from another client, so here I am." 

"Oh, I'm so glad. Now you can watch me screw up people's orders." 

"Sounds like fun." He turned to Elizabeth. "Morning." 

"Hi, Zander." Just then, she saw Lucky coming down the stairs. "Look, I have to get to the art supply store, so I'll see you guys later." 

Emily and Zander watched her go as Lucky entered the restaurant. Zander remarked, "Geez, is anyone ever going to stop treating me like I have the plague?" 

Lucky spoke up. "She wasn't running away from you. She didn't want to see me." 

"Why not?" 

"Elizabeth broke up with me." 

"Oh, man, I'm sorry to hear that." 

"Yeah. So was I." At that, Lucky walked out. 

Zander turned back to Emily, and rested his hand over hers. "You realize that if you ever dump me that I'm going to look just as sad and pathetic as he just did, right?" 

Emily leaned over and kissed the tip of his nose. "Well, I don't want you to scare the good citizens of Port Charles, so I guess I just won't dump you." 

They exchanged goofy smiles, and once again counted their blessings that they had found one another. 

* * * 

After picking up some new brushes and turpentine, Elizabeth felt compelled to take a walk past the boxcar. She slowed when she saw Lucky sitting there, uncertain whether she should approach him or not. Knowing that she couldn't avoid him forever, she headed towards him. 

"Hi," she said softly. 

Lucky looked up at her, and there were tears glistening in his eyes. "What are you doing here, Elizabeth?" 

"I just felt like taking a walk. I didn't know you would be here." 

"Well, here I am." 

"Lucky, I know you're hurting, and I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to make the pain go away." 

"Come back to me, then." 

"I can't do that. You know that." 

"Because of Jason." 

"No. Because of me." 

"Look, Elizabeth, I really don't want to talk about this anymore. I gotta go." 

She watched him walk away, then sat down in the door of the boxcar and cried. When she looked up again, Jason was standing in front of her. 

"I remember when you found me here, bleeding in the snow. I guess that's when things started to get complicated." 

She nodded. "But I'm so glad I found you. Otherwise you would have died before I ever got a chance to really know you." 

Jason extended his hand to her. "Come on. I'll walk you back to Kelly's." 

Hand in hand they set out, both wondering what would happen next. 

"Well, Oh, that's the way it is 

You gotta roll with the punches 

That's the way it goes 

You gotta bend when the wind blows" 

--"That's the Way' performed by JoDee Messina 

Written by Annie Roboff/Holly Lamar 


	5. You Live You Learn, You Crash and Burn

You Live You Learn, You Crash and Burn 

"You live you learn 

You crash and burn 

It's hit or miss 

And that's the way it is" 

--"That's the Way" performed by JoDee Messina 

Written by Annie Roboff/Holly Lamar 

Jason and Elizabeth had arrived at Kelly's, and it was just about time for her shift to start. 

"Thanks for walking with me, Jason." 

"Anytime. Look, I have a few things that I need to do, so I'll see you later, okay?" 

"Okay. I have to work until nine." 

"Maybe I'll stop by." 

"See you then." 

They went their separate ways, both of them wincing at how incredibly inane they had just sounded. They had talked for countless hours, and now they couldn't even say good-bye like normal people. 

Kelly's was pretty dead when Elizabeth walked in, but she knew it would pick up once the lunch rush started. 

"Oh, Liz, I'm so glad you're here!" Emily exclaimed the moment she walked in the door. "This morning has been so hectic, and I just could not survive lunch without you." 

Elizabeth laughed as she tied on her apron. "You can rest easy now, Em. I may not be able to figure out my life, but at least I can still wait tables." 

The door opened behind them, and a party of four came in. Liz headed over to them, and said, "You guys take a seat, and I'll be right back to take your order." As she walked back towards the kitchen, she thought, Everything is going to be just fine. 

* * * 

All Jason wanted to do was sleep. He had been up until three in the morning, watching Elizabeth sleep, wondering what was going to happen now and whether she was going to be okay. On top of that, the couch was about as comfy as a rock. 

Still, he was glad he had stayed. Not wanting to push too hard with Elizabeth, he had decided not to stay for lunch at Kelly's. The plan was to grab a burger at Jake's, choke it down, and then head up for a much-deserved nap. 

He was half way through his burger when he felt a tap on his shoulder. Nudging the bar stool around, he found himself face-to-face with a very angry Lucky Spencer. 

"Lucky." 

"Jason. I think it's time that you and I had a little talk." 

"I thought we already did, down at the docks." 

"Yeah, well, the situation has changed a little sense then. Back then, you were only trying to steal away my girlfriend. Now, for some reason, you seem to have actually succeeded." 

"Lucky, I didn't steal Elizabeth from you. She made a decision. I'm sorry that you don't like her decision, but that's really not my problem." 

"You really expect me to believe that? You honestly think I don't know you've been after Elizabeth since the moment you set foot in Port Charles again?" 

"Elizabeth is my friend, Lucky. I care about her very much. She's important to me. Yes, I have spent time with her. But what you don't seem to understand is that I didn't set out to do anything. All that matters to me is that Elizabeth is happy. If she's happy with you, then she should be with you. If she's not, then she shouldn't. I never told her to break up with you. I never said you two didn't belong together. All I ever did was listen to what she was saying. You ought to try it sometime." 

"Listen, you arrogant bastard..." 

Jason stood up. "Lucky, I really don't want to get into this with you. I got about four hours of sleep last night, and dealing with a jilted boyfriend isn't real high on my list of things to do. I suggest you leave." 

"Sorry I'm inconveniencing you here, Jason, but having my heart ripped out is a little more important than you being tired. Let me ask you one thing. Do you want more than friendship from Elizabeth?" 

"Yes." 

"Are you going to tell her that?" 

"If she tells me that's what she wants, then yes. If not, then no. I'm not going to ask her to do anything she doesn't want to do." 

"That's right, I keep forgetting, St. Jason to the rescue." 

"I think you should go now, Lucky." 

"Fine, I'm leaving." He started to walk away, then turned back. "There's just one last thing." 

Before Jason could respond, he felt Lucky's fist connect with his chin. Then Lucky left, calling out behind him, "I'd watch your step if I were you." 

What an idiot, thought Jason. If I wasn't so tired, I might be compelled to beat the crap out of him. Gingerly touching his jaw and wincing, he decided to forego the rest of his burger and head up to bed. 

* * * 

Elizabeth sighed as she wiped off the last table and flipped the sign on the door to "Closed." The place had been packed all evening, and Emily had gotten off work at four, leaving Elizabeth to fend for herself. Every muscle is her body ached. To make it even worse, Lucky had come in that afternoon and pointedly ignored her. He had gone straight up to his room, and hadn't come down since. Jason hadn't stopped by either, which bothered her more than she wanted to admit. 

As she began to untie her apron, she heard a soft knock, and turned to see Jason standing outside. Her face lit up in a smile, and she hurried to unlock the door for him. 

"Sorry I didn't come by earlier. I fell asleep, and just woke up a little while ago." 

"That's okay. I was really busy anyway, and wouldn't have had time to talk." 

As Jason stepped into the light, she saw the angry purple bruise on his chin. 

"Oh my God, Jason, what happened? You look like you were in a fight." 

"Not quite, but close enough. Lucky stopped by Jake's earlier. He made some accusation, basically told me off, then threw one punch and walked out." 

"So you...you didn't hit him back?" 

"Never got the chance. I'm not sure I would have even if I did have the chance. I mean, I have to feel sorry for the guy." 

Elizabeth shook her head, saddened by this turn of events. "I can't believe he hit you. Lucky's been so much more angry since he came back. I used to think if was because of all the programming, but that's supposed to be gone now, and I don't know what to think." 

"He's going through a rough time, Elizabeth. It's understandable, really." 

"Jason, you have a right to be angry at what he did to you. You don't have to say this stuff to make me feel better." 

"Elizabeth, have you ever known me to say something I didn't mean?" 

"No. God, I just am so furious with Lucky right now! I'm about ready to march upstairs and tell him exactly what I think of his behavior." 

"Don't do that. He'll know that you found out from me, and that will just set him off again. Is one lousy bruise really worth another fight with him?" 

"I guess not. I feel like I don't even know him anymore. And I don't think...I don't think I love him anymore." 

Jason looked her straight in the eye. "Elizabeth, you've loved Lucky a long time. How can that have changed so quickly? Love doesn't just disappear. I don't think it ever really leaves you once it gets a hold of you. It's impossible to just push it away." 

Elizabeth shook her head. "The person that I fell in love with doesn't go around punching people. He doesn't tell me what to do or who to see or how to feel. The person that is upstairs right now is not the person that I fell in love with. The Lucky that I loved, that I will always love, really did die the night of the fire. It's taken me until now to admit to myself that that person is never coming back. Things can't ever be the way they were before. I don't love Lucky Spencer, at least not who he is now. It's time for me to start moving on." 

"If you're sure that's what you want..." 

She smiled sadly. "It's not what I want, really. It's not the way that things were supposed to work out. But it's the way that things are, and I can live with that." 

"Alright. But you know, it's okay if you change your mind." 

She cocked her head and looked up at him. "What are you trying to do, Jason? Make me get back together with Lucky?" 

"No, I... I just need to know that you're sure about what you're doing." 

"I am sure, Jason. It's time for me to live my life for me, instead of trying to fulfill a dream that should have died a long time ago." 

He nodded. "Okay then. Just let me know if there's anything that I can do to help." 

"Oh, I'm sure that I can think of something." 

Opening her arms, Elizabeth brought Jason into a hug. Her head nestled in under his chin, and she felt safe. 

* * * 

In the shadow of the stairwell sat Lucky Spencer, tears streaming down his face. He realized, finally, that he had truly lost Elizabeth. He had come downstairs to get a glass of water when he heard her talking to Jason. Much as he hated to admit it, Jason hadn't pushed Elizabeth to believe that she should no longer be with Lucky. If anything, the opposite was true. Perhaps Jason had been telling the truth earlier that day. He really did want Elizabeth to be happy. Maybe it was time that he started thinking about that a little more himself. 

Slowly, silently, Lucky stood up and headed back up the stairs. It wasn't going to be easy, and it was going to take time, but he had to accept that Jason was a part of Liz's life now. If there was ever going to be a chance of rebuilding his friendship with her, let alone a hope of reconciling romantically, he really couldn't go around punching Jason out every time he saw him with Liz. In a moment of self-loathing, Lucky grudgingly admitted that perhaps the better man had won. 


	6. It's Hit or Miss, But That's the Way It ...

It's Hit or Miss, But That's the Way It Is 

It had only been two days since she broke up with Lucky, but it was already beginning to feel like a lifetime. In such a short period of time, he had gone from being the person that she thought she knew better than anyone else in the world, to someone she felt like she hardly knew at all. The fact that he had actively sought out Jason to confront him didn't really surprise her; the fact that he had punched Jason did. 

The last time they had spoken had been the previous day at the boxcar. He hadn't even looked at her when he came into Kelly's the night before, and this morning when they had passed in the hall upstairs, he had actually looked away. Elizabeth felt horrible about not reaching out to him either, but she knew that any attempts she made would only be rebuffed. There was only so much pain a person could handle in a short period of time, so she decided that it was best to let him cool off for a while. 

At any rate, she had a different kind of challenge awaiting her today. She was going to see Laura about the Face of Deception. Since the decision to give her the job had been largely based on the pictures Lucky had taken of her, as well as the assumption that he would be taking the rest of the photographs, she really wasn't sure that it was going to work out. Even though she had felt much more relaxed at the second photo shoot, she knew that had a lot to do with the fact that she trusted Lucky. She still wasn't sure how she would do with another photographer. Besides, she didn't think that Lucky should be forced to give up the job because he didn't feel comfortable around her. He was an amazing photographer, and if Elizabeth was honest with herself, she knew she would still rather paint than stand in front of the camera all day. 

Bracing herself, Elizabeth stepped off the elevator into the lobby of the Deception offices. Elton was there to greet her exuberantly. 

"Miss Webber! How wonderful to see you! Do you have an appointment with Mrs. Spencer? I don't remember seeing you on her schedule." 

"No, I don't have an appointment, but I was hoping that she might have a few minutes to meet with me." 

"I'll check, dear, but I'm certain that she'll have more than a few minutes for the new Face of Deception!" 

"Thank you Elton." 

A moment later, Elton told her to go on in to Laura's office. 

Laura stood up when Elizabeth entered the room. "Elizabeth. I didn't expect to see you here this morning." 

"I know I probably should have made an appointment, but..." 

"Don't be silly, honey. You know I always have time for you." 

"Thanks. Um, have you talked to Lucky at all recently?" 

Laura shook her head. "No, not since the night of the launch party. Why?" 

"Maybe we should sit down. There're a few things that I need to tell you." 

Looking concerned, Laura led Elizabeth over to the sofa. "Is there something wrong?" 

Liz nodded. "I don't even know how to begin to tell you this... Lucky and I...well, things haven't been going so well lately. We've been fighting a lot, and the big thing we've been arguing about has been my friendship with Jason Morgan. I don't really want to go into the details, but things just got blown way out of proportion. Anyway, we had a big discussion a couple days ago, and I tried to explain things to Lucky. He said he needed some time to think, and when I came back to Kelly's that night, he had filled my room with flowers and was holding an engagement ring." 

Tears came to Laura's eyes. "Elizabeth, are you and Lucky engaged?" 

Sadly, Liz shook her head. "No. I didn't accept his proposal. I'm just not ready for that yet. And after I turned him down, I--I broke up with him." 

"Oh, Liz, honey, why?" 

"You've seen how he is. He's just not the same since Faison kidnapped him. We've both changed so much, and I--I don't love him anymore." 

As Elizabeth began to cry, Laura pulled her close and held her. "Oh, sweetie, I know how hard this must be for you." 

Liz nodded. "I mean, I still care about Lucky a lot. And I guess it's not completely true that I don't love him. A part of me will always love him. But I'm not in love with him." 

"I know. I know just what you're going through." 

Laura allowed Elizabeth to cry for a few more minutes, and then Liz straightened up. "Thank you for understanding. I hope that you and I can still be friends." 

Laura smiled sadly. "Of course we can. You know, my relationship with Lucky hasn't been easy since the fire, either." 

"I know. But I guess the other reason that I came here was to tell you that I don't think I can be the Face of Deception anymore." 

Laura's eyes grew wide. "Honey, you don't need to quit because you and Lucky broke up. I wanted you for you, not because you were my son's girlfriend." 

"I realize that, and I appreciate that. But, honestly, being the Face of Deception isn't what I want. I know that Lucky took some beautiful pictures of me, and that was fun. But it's not my dream. My art is my dream. Lucky is a wonderful photographer. That's his dream. I don't want to take that away from him, and I know he won't want to take the pictures if I'm in them. Besides, after everything that happened, with the--with the rape, I just don't know if I can realistically be in a studio with someone other than Lucky. You saw what happened at the first test shoot. I know it will happen again. Please don't think I'm not grateful to you for this opportunity. I'm probably crazy to be walking away from this chance. But really, I was doing this more for you and Lucky than I was for myself." 

Laura reached out and took Elizabeth's hand. "You really are a beautiful person. If this really isn't what you want, then I'm not going to force you. I'm disappointed, but I won't try to change your mind." 

"Thank you. That means a lot to me." 

"You're welcome. Now, is there any other big news you need to share with me?" 

Liz laughed. "No, I think that's all for today." 

"Well, good. I don't think I could take anything else! Would you like to stay for lunch? I was going to order something from the Grille." 

"I'd love to, but I can't. I'm on at Kelly's in a little while." 

"Alright. Thank you for telling me what's happening. If it was up to Lucky, I'd never know!" 

"No problem. And thank you for understanding." 

"You're welcome. Good-bye, Elizabeth." 

"'Bye." 

As Elizabeth left the office, tears welled up in Laura's eyes. She had had such great hopes for her son and that girl, and it hurt to see that their dreams wouldn't be coming true after all. Feeling a pang of remembrance of the time she had finally realized her life with Luke was over, she resolutely went back to work. 

* * * 

Carly was stepping off the elevator as Elizabeth exited Laura's office. The two women made eye contact, and Liz nodded, expecting no acknowledgement from Carly. Much to her surprise, Carly spoke. 

"Elizabeth, could I speak to you in my office?" 

Warily, Liz nodded. After the two women had entered Carly's office and the door was shut, she spoke up. "Look, Carly, I really don't want to fight with you. I just told Laura that I don't want to be the Face of Deception, so you should be ecstatic." 

Carly's eyebrows went up. "As thrilling as that is, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. This is about Jason." 

"What about him?" 

"He came to see me the other day. He told me that I have to be civil to you, because he cares about you, and we're both a part of his life. Now, I would do just about anything for Jason, but this isn't easy for me. Still, when I talked to him, Jason was happy. He hasn't been happy for a long time. I never liked Robin, either, and you remind me of her. But so help me God, if you ever hurt him the way that she did..." 

"Carly...he's really happy?" 

Carly looked into the younger woman's eyes, and saw the same joy and love she had seen shining in Jason's. Mutely, she nodded. 

"I know you don't like me. You're not my favorite person either. But please believe me when I tell you that the last thing I would ever want to do would be to hurt Jason. I don't know exactly what is going to happen with us, be he is very special to me." 

"That's a start, at least. Look, Liz, I know he seems like this big tough guy, and in a lot of ways he is. But he can be hurt, and when he is, the pain stays with him a long time." 

"I know. I've seen it, seen the hurt in his eyes, and I would do anything in my power to take that hurt away." 

"So would I, Elizabeth. But I don't have that power with him. You seem to, which I don't understand. Guess it's just one more thing I have to learn to live with. And I will, for Jason's sake." 

"Thank you, Carly. I know that you're very important to Jason, too. I promise, no matter how things are between you and I, I won't try to take him away from you. I know how that feels. That's what Lucky did--he tried to tell me that I couldn't be a friend to Jason. I couldn't accept that. I know you wouldn't either." 

"Damn straight I wouldn't. Well, it seems that we have come to an understanding here. Will wonders never cease? Next thing you know Sonny is going to start sharing his feelings, instead of making me pry them out of him." 

Liz laughed. "Right. I'll believe that when I see it." 

Carly sighed. "Yeah, me too." 

Elizabeth glanced at her watch. "As surprisingly pleasant as this has been, I have to get back to Kelly's. My shift starts in twenty minutes." 

"Okay. And Elizabeth?" 

"Yes?" 

"Take care of him." 

"I will," she answered softly. 

* * * 

Jason took a deep breath as he pulled up to Kelly's and removed his helmet. He had spent most of the day with Sonny, working out the details for rebuilding the warehouse. The police were still sniffing around, which was a hassle. Apparently the PCPD was having a hard time believing that Sonny and Jason hadn't set fire to their own warehouse. 

In the few spare moments he had during the day, he had been thinking about Elizabeth. Truth be told, thoughts of her had started to interfere with what he was supposed to be concentrating on. Sonny would eventually get his attention, give him a knowing smile, and then direct him back towards work. 

He knew, rationally, that Elizabeth hadn't been broken up with Lucky for very long. She was still emotionally vulnerable. He had absolutely no business telling her how he felt, pushing her to make a decision. 

But the waiting was killing him. 

The months he had been gone, he had cursed himself for not finding a way to say good-bye to her before leaving. Although he knew she understood, he still regretted it. Then, when he had finally returned, having her be the only person who knew he was in town, other than Sonny, had been such a rush. It was their secret, something that no one else was a part of. He had given her a number of opportunities to back out, and he had been overjoyed when she refused. 

That's when the hope had really started to take hold of him. He had been attracted to Elizabeth for a long time; there was no question about that. Still, in the beginning, they had been just friends. She was still torn up over Lucky's death. Then when Lucky had come back and told her he didn't love her, Jason couldn't help but be a little happy about it. He knew it was selfish, and he hated to see Elizabeth hurting. So he had been supportive, even though his impulse had been to take her in his arms and tell her that she didn't need Lucky, because she had him. The first time he felt that urge, he knew the line had been crossed, and he was falling for Elizabeth Webber. He had known, too, that he wasn't what she wanted. 

Since then, the feelings had only intensified. Every time he saw her, he wanted her more. It wasn't just physical, either. She had twined herself around his heart without even trying, made him feel things he had thought 

himself incapable of ever feeling again. 

And now...now he knew he had a chance. He had seen the look in her eyes more than once. He was so afraid to rush things, so terrified of pushing too hard and having her run back to Lucky. Sooner or later, though, the truth was going to slip out. He couldn't hold it in much longer. 

Although it was past closing time, and the lights were off, Jason saw that the sign still read "Open." Putting his hand on the door, he realized it was still unlocked. Entering the restaurant, he saw Elizabeth, her back to him, her head resting on the lunch counter, clearly fast asleep. Jason quietly flipped the sign and bolted the door, then crept towards her, not wanting to wake her. 

He paused for a moment just to watch her sleep, and realize yet again just how beautiful she was to him. 

Her keys were on the counter next to her head, so he picked them up, then bent down and scooped her into his arms. She shifted and let out a little sigh, but didn't wake up. 

Carefully, he climbed the steps with her, and struggled to unlock her door without dropping her. Accomplishing his goal, he entered her room, kicked the door shut, and laid her on her bed. Gently, he pulled off her shoes and arranged the comforter over her. Satisfied with his work, Jason placed a whisper of a kiss on her check, and headed for the door. 

He had already opened it halfway when she spoke. "Jason?" 

Thanking a higher power that she hadn't called out for Lucky, he closed the door and crossed the room back to her bed. 

"Hey there, sleepyhead. You weren't supposed to wake up." 

"I woke up as soon as you picked up my keys," she confessed. "But it was so nice that I didn't want it to end, so I pretended to be asleep." 

He smiled. "Well, you had me fooled." 

She blushed. "I know. Thank you for taking care of me." 

Hesitantly, he reached out and brushed a strand of hair off her face, feeling her shiver beneath his touch. "Cold?" 

"No...very warm, actually." 

Acting on impulse, Jason sat down on the bed next to her. "So how was your day?" 

"Eventful. I told Laura that Lucky and I had broken up. Then I resigned as the Face of Deception." 

"Is that what you want?" 

She nodded. "It was fun, and it was flattering, but it's not who I am." 

"Then you did the right thing." 

"I--I also saw Carly." She could feel him tense up as she spoke the words. 

"What did Carly have to say?" 

"She told me that you talked to her." Amused, Elizabeth watched as a faint blush crept up Jason's neck. "She warned me not to hurt you, and told me to take care of you." 

Avoiding her gaze, Jason mumbled, "Carly talks to much. She didn't upset you, did she?" 

"Not at all. It was actually kind of nice." She paused, considering her next words carefully. "Jason, look at me." 

He met her gaze, and her heart melted even more than it already had. "I think we both know that there's something between us, Jason. I know that I just broke up with Lucky, and it's going to take some time to get past that. But I will get past it. I'm not going to run back to him. I'm sure of that. I get the feeling that you're afraid of pushing me too hard. Please don't be." 

"I just don't want to ask you to do anything you don't want to," he whispered. 

"Then I guess that's what I'm trying to tell you. I want you. I want you in my life, by my side, as more than just friends." 

His heart soaring, Jason asked, "Are you sure?" 

"Yes. And there's one more thing." 

"Anything." 

"I want it now. I don't want to wait until it's safe. I just want you." 

Turning so that his body was facing hers, Jason took her hands in his and laced their fingers together. Slowly leaning forward, he kissed her. It was gentle and sweet, and as their lips fused, they both felt as though they had come home. 

Eventually they broke away, slightly breathless. 

"I guess that means that you feel the same way," teased Elizabeth. 

Jason's eyes were serious. "I've wanted this for so long, Elizabeth. Until just a few days ago, I never believed that I would ever have it. It amazes me that someone as incredible as you could want me, could accept me for who I am and what I do. You were right when you said that I didn't want to push you. I still don't. We can take this at whatever pace you feel comfortable with. All that matters is that you're here, in my life, and we're together." 

Smiling and crying, Elizabeth let go of his hands and put her arms around him. "Thank you. Will you stay with me here, tonight, just hold me until the morning?" 

He nodded, and settled onto the bed next to her. Snuggling closer, her breathing quickly became deep and even. 

When he was certain that she was asleep, Jason whispered the words he was still too afraid to tell her face-to-face. "I love you, Elizabeth." 

A smile touching her lips, Elizabeth whispered back, "I love you, too, Jason." 

Stunned that she was awake and even more amazed that she had responded in kind, Jason gently turned her to face him. "Do you mean it?" 

"With all my heart." 

He kissed her again, all the love and passion and hope that he had been suppressing for so long pouring out of him. He drew her tightly to him, and they fell asleep together, overjoyed with the realization that this was only the beginning. 


End file.
